Support for you
Get help
What is a healthy relationship?
In a healthy relationship, partners openly discuss their needs and problems, respectfully listen to and trust each other. Honesty and equal access to decision-making are important. Both partners are able to enjoy their own personal time, without the other feeling rejected, hurt, or angry. The couple’s intimate relation is always based on consent. In terms of finances, the partners make joint decisions about priority spending and they each have access to their own money.
Signs of unhealthy relationships
-
Physical abuse
Slapping, hitting, pushing, choking, abducting, etc.
-
Psychological/emotional abuse
Harassment, stalking, isolation, ridiculing, humiliating, control (of the way you dress, who you see, etc.), blackmailing
-
Sexual abuse
Forced non-consented sexual acts: flirting, verbal innuendoes, gestures, touching – usually repeatedly and with no mutual response. Rape is one of the most serios forms of sexual abuse.
-
Economic abuse
Controlling your income, preventing you from getting a job, excluding you from financial decisions.
-
Social violence
Isolating the victim from her family, friends,
-
Verbal violence
Raising his voice, lying, threatening, blaming you, criticising you, etc.
-
Cyberviolence
Controlling your social media accounts or prohibiting your online interactions, threats to post personal content online.
-
Spiritual violence
Using faith and religious customs to manipulate, dominate, control you.
What to do...
... if you’re going through a difficult situation?
If you decide to leave your current partner/relationship and you feel there is a risk for physical violence to escalate, make sure you talk to people who are close to you, so they can offer protection should you need it. Use the services of a counselling center or other specialized services (for example, a support group, a women’s shelter, etc.). Get informed about the protection order which prevents the aggressor from getting close to you. Make a plan.
-
...if you decide to stay in the same house as the aggressor?
Set up a distress call to signal to your neighbours or friends to take action in case of danger or call the police.
-
... somebody you know is facing intimate partner violence?
Do not ask when the relationship turned violent. Listen empathically and openly and only offer your help if asked for. Make no assumptions and offer your unconditional support. Do not push her to make decisions. We each deal with difficult situations at our own pace and with our own internal resources.
-
... if you witness a violent incident?
Call the emergency number 112. This is a first step to save their life. It does not matter whether you know the victim or not. If possible, stay with her when the first responders arrive or testify for her in court. You may be the only one supporting her story.
What should you do to leave safe?
Ask people close to you to be there for you.
To stay safe, you may need to move to a place where your ex cannot find you. If you have children, you may need to transfer them
Safety baggage
Prepare your safety baggage, including: clothes, money, official documents (ID, birth certificate, driver’s license, credit card, etc.), spare keys to the house/car, documents proving the acts of violence (pictures, recordings, forensic medicine certificates,
What to do once you have left the aggressor?
Try to move to a safe place and only inform people you trust of your new address.
Get a new SIM card and only share your new phone number with people you trust. Change all your social account passwords (email, Facebook, Instagram, etc.) to make sure you cannot be tracked.
Cancel your old bank accounts and credit cards, especially if the aggressor had access to them. Open new bank accounts to another bank.
If you still live in the same area as the aggressor, change your daily routine: take a different route to work, avoid the places where you used to go together and where he might find you, shop in different stores or markets. Always have a charged mobile phone on you in case you need to call the emergency number 112.
Ask for help from people and organizations specializing in working with people affected by violence. Join a support group. Try to make sense of your new life.
Protection order
What is it?
A protection order is a court decision enforcing urgent measures to protect you and your children. For instance, a measure may make it mandatory for the aggressor to keep a minimum distance from you and your children, or from your home, work place, your children’s school, etc.
How to get one?
Fill in the dedicated form and submit it to the court that has jurisdiction over your place of residence/domicile. You can submit the request yourself or agree for a domestic violence prosecutor or social worker to submit it for you. Submitting the request form
Specialized services
-
Join a support group
join a groupCreating local support groups that bring together women with similar life experiences in a safe healing space.
-
Accredited services in Romania
see listFor specialized support, check the list below to find the centre closest to you.
-
When getting in touch with a psychologist, look out for these signs
Have you found the right psychologist?Choosing a good professional and deciding whether you have found the right psychologist to guide you through a domestic violence case.