What is your story?
The stories told unite us, but the untold ones separate us – said Elif Shafak.
We are made of stories: what has happened to us, what is happening to us in the present, or what will happen to us in the future. In violence, the victim’s story does not matter. The aggressor convinces her that her voice must remain small, to submit. The narrative is written around him: you made me hurt you, you are not valuable, who will listen to you if not me? And then, her voice becomes weaker and weaker. When we are silenced, we come to wonder if our being still matters and we are overcome by a deep sadness and anxiety.
It is important for survivors of violence to find their voice and help other women do the same. When you share your story in a support group, for example, you regain power and control over your own life. You realize that you are the author of your own narrative and that you have the ability to change the outcome of events.
When I met Dana, her voice was weak, you could barely hear her speaking to you in an empty and quiet room. Then, seeing that she was not alone, that she was surrounded by women with similar life stories, who encouraged her, who told her, “Me too, me too!”, Diana gained courage. Day by day, her voice grew little by little, until she said to herself: my experience is valuable. I am valuable! I can help! I will tell my story to show the world that it is possible to get out of an abusive relationship with a child and at the same time remain gentle in the face of life.
And yet, when and how is it appropriate to tell your story? At first, you can write your life story in a notebook or in an online document, so that you have access to reread and edit it. To have a good start, it is important to reflect on the following questions: what is my story? How do I position myself? What is the beginning, middle and end? Why am I writing it now? What do I want to convey? What will others learn from my story? and to be patient with yourself: a person will make several attempts before they feel that the story has a final format that they are satisfied with.
Writing is a liberating method and an impactful story doesn’t just have a beginning, middle and end. Try to see yourself and describe yourself as a character, who is in a life context and goes through a difficulty, seeks resources to find solutions and in the end overcomes the impasse. In the end, the character finds a conclusion, a life lesson, a moral and shares it with the readers.
How do the #ȘiEuReușesc stories work? A person tells their story and thus processes their trauma or painful past. This story is read by other women who feel inspired and find the courage to tell their own story, encouraging other women, in an endless circle of solidarity and healing.
Of course, sometimes it can be hard to tell your story, either because of the fear of the unknown or because telling your own history can make you feel like you’re holding it back. It’s human and natural to want to run away from pain. But it’s healing to look suffering in the face and tell it that you no longer have control over me. You can’t hurt me. I am in control of myself and I believe I deserve the best. Another healing role of stories is related to accepting the life situation: yes, I was there, but now I’m here, I’m okay, look what I learned from this experience.
You can read the stories of those who overcome violence here.
And if you also want to upload your testimonial, we remind you that you can do so safely and anonymously. At your request, we will not publish your name and other details that would identify you. We believe that it is important for everyone to be safe, and that is why your story will be read by our team of psychologists before it is published. You have full control over the content – if you change your mind, we are committed to making the story no longer public, without asking for an explanation.
Say #ȘiEuReusesc (ICanDoItToo) here.