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Specialist resources

Offer your support

Efficient support requires well-trained specialists who are up to date with the most recent information in the field. This is what you need to know to help a woman turn from victim to survivor.

How can A.L.E.G. help?

A.L.E.G. support to victims

We offer psychological counselling to victims of domestic violence, women and children witnesses, so they can regain control of their lives. Our psychologists offer information via telephone, e-mail or face to face. For details, get in touch with us, Monday to Friday between 10 a.m. and 5 p.m. at +40 753 893 531 or at contact@aleg-romania.eu

  • Specialist intervision

    We offer support to people who work with victims of domestic violence. For details and costs, contact us at contact@aleg-romania.eu

  • What to do image1
    Lifelong training

    We organize trainings for psychologists and psychotherapists; our trainings are accredited by Colegiul Psihologilor din România.

    If you are interested in this programme, please fill in this form and we will get back to you about how to set up a group.

Why talk about violence against women?

We are referring to violence against women because in Romania, like in many other countries, women are disproportionately affected by various types of violence. For instance, according to a report of the Fundamental Rights Agency (FRA), in the EU, 1 of 3 women has been victim of physical or sexual violence. The social and cultural norms of many societies perpetuate gender inequalities, thus making women more vulnerable to various forms of violence. In the past, Romanian laws were rather lenient for the aggressors, while protection for victims was limited. Although the situation has improved, the problem remains acute.

Signs of unhealthy relationships

By spotting the signs of an unhealthy relationship early on, everyone involved will be spared a lot of pain, including children witnessing violence.
learn the signs
  • Abuse sign physical
    Physical abuse

    Slapping, hitting, pushing, choking, abducting, etc.

  • Abuse sign psychological
    Psychological/emotional abuse

    Harassment, stalking, isolation, ridiculing, humiliating, control (of the way you dress, who you see, etc.), blackmailing

  • Abuse sign sexual
    Sexual abuse

    Forced non-consented sexual acts: flirting, verbal innuendoes, gestures, touching – usually repeatedly and with no mutual response. Rape is one of the most serios forms of sexual abuse.

  • Abuse sign economic
    Economic abuse

    Controlling your income, preventing you from getting a job, excluding you from financial decisions.

  • Abuse sign social
    Social violence

    Isolating the victim from her family, friends, the community, etc.

  • Abuse sign verbal
    Verbal violence

    Raising his voice, lying, threatening, blaming you, criticising you, etc.

  • Abuse sign cybernetic
    Cyberviolence

    Controlling your social media accounts or prohibiting your online interactions, threats to post personal content online.

  • Abuse sign spiritual
    Spiritual violence

    Using faith and religious customs to manipulate, dominate, control you.

Victim protection

Needs of women who face relationship violence

  • protection, for both herself and her children
  • medical attention
  • to be believed
  • to be understood
  • not feel judged
  • be supported and find understanding for her situation
  • receive clear and correct information about how she can be supported in practice
  • receive information about the ways in which the law protects her and how to access effective legal remedies
  • get help to leave the home she shared with the aggressor and to find a safe place, including financial support;
  • get support to overcome social isolation and helplessness
  • get support in identifying solutions for the path she chooses to continue, to make decisions that are beneficial to her and her children
  • to be recognized for her courage in exposing violence.
Domestic violence always comes with the risk of the victim going back to the aggressor, which is why specialized help is so necessary.

Cycle of violence

Everyone responds to domestic violence in a different manner: some decide to leave right after the first incident, while others stay for a long time or leave the aggressor and go back to him several times. Walker (1979) explains this in the cycle of abuse:

  • 1. Tension build
  • 2. Incident
  • 3. Reconciliations/Honeymoon
  • 4. Calm
find out more
Abuse Cycle

Why does a victim decide to stay in an abusive relationship?

A relationship is built over time, and if at first it is based on gestures of affection and trust, over time the needs of one of the partners can turn into power and control. To get out of an abusive relationship, a victim needs support and assistance from those close to them or from specialized services, which is why many people choose to stay.

Other reasons why she may choose to stay:

  • Being alone seems more frightening than being a victim.
  • The overwhelming responsibility of raising her children on her own, even if she didn’t have help in the past.
  • Being threatened that she may lose her children if she leaves the relationship.
  • The partner promises to change.
  • Feeling guilty that her partner may not make it without her.

 

  • The belief that he needs saving and she is the only one who can save him.
  • Low self-esteem makes her believe she deserves to be abused.
  • This occurs because her partners repeatedly blames her for his violent behaviour.
  • She still loves him even if the relationship has turned abusive.
  • Social acceptance of domestic violence, in phrases such as: “She’s not leaving because she likes it” or “He hit her to put her in her rightful place”.

 

  • Financial dependence on the partner.
  • When he is out of the picture, the need to find a stable job, a new home, etc.
  • Religious beliefs promoting a mentality such as “it’s faith” or “it’s God’s will”.
  • The stigma around divorce and around breaking up with your partner.
  • The belief that abuse is normal, based on a lack of examples of healthy vs. unhealthy relationships.

Safety plan

find out more
Safety plan

Self-reliance. Reducing her level of dependence from her partner and other people, including encouraging her financial independence.

Finding a safe space (shelter, emergency centre, somebody you trust, etc.).

Preparations prior to leaving, taking necessary protection measures: where will you go, how, what to take with you (keys, money, list of contacts, IDs, clothes, etc.), preparing the children.

Including children in your protection plan, talking to them about your decision, as well as about the details of your separation.

Legal protection, assistance in understanding legal implications, protection order, necessary documents, separation, divorce, etc.

Building a support network, recreating your social system, keeping documents/proof.

Protection order

What is it?

A protection order is a court decision enforcing urgent measures to protect you and your children. For instance, a measure may make it mandatory for the aggressor to keep a minimum distance from you and your children, or from your home, work place, you children’s school, etc.

find out more
How to get one?

Fill in the dedicated form and submit it to the court that has jurisdiction over your place of residence/domicile. You can submit the request yourself or agree for a domestic violence prosecutor or social worker to submit it for you. Submitting the request form is free of charge.

download the form

DOs and DONTs when interacting with a victim of abuse

Local services

  • Specialized Services Group Support
    Join a support group

    Creating local support groups that bring together women with similar life experiences in a safe healing space.

    join a group
  • Specialzed Services Country Available
    Accredited services in Romania

    For specialized support, check the list below to find the centre closest to you.

    see list